The beauty industry has mastered selling us back an ersatz version of our own nature for enormous profit. Never has this been clearer than in the case of a sold-out modern-day merkin …
Every writer has a “just in case” piece – the article they’ll write if their favourite artist dies, their beloved team wins, or the political moment they dreamed of arrives. I had mine all planned out. The piece: the bush is back! A 3,000-word essay about the quiet reclamation of pubic hair in all its unruly glory, replete with hair-raising puns befitting a story of such campy defiance.
But I must face the fact that I may never get to write this piece. Why? Because Kim Kardashian and her underwear brand Skims have ruined it, with the sale of a faux pubic hair thong called “the Ultimate Bush”. Launched last week with a video featuring models in a 70s-styled gameshow called “Does the carpet match the drapes?”, the £34 thong features a triangle of hair made of synthetic fibres to mimic pubic manes in 12 hair colour and texture combos. It sold out in under 24 hours, leaving the internet to wonder: who exactly is this product for? Those who regret lasering it all off? Or folks looking for some retro merkin fun?
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